Coming back to a familiar place you might hazard to call home, dumping all your belongings on the floor, drinking a tall glass of tap water , taking a long hot shower in your dingy little bathroom standing in your tub in which you can never lie down, all the while looking at imagery from the roads at the back of your eyelids, washing the ragged mountains and deserts , thousands of miles of beautiful nothingness off your skin , save for a sense of completion, a well written summary if you will, now that, that has been my true luxury, my one true lesson, that here in my bed surrounded by the rattling pipes that keeps us warm , I am happy, that trvelling does soothe the tormented soul, answers the questions you’ve struggled with for half an eternity (or not, depending how you see it) gives you the peace you’ve always longed for.

Here. The end of an epicness that was this trip, I lie on my side of the bed , listen to Darling breathe , and bask in being content. Somehow , somewhere among the mountains and the winding roads and the gaping sky my overly critical inner voice hushed it self. I was so small, the sky was so vast, the earth steamed and bubbled and gushed. The wind threathetened to take me over the canyons. There were people in the crevices at Devil’s Tower. A brave man carved a mountain alone. I stood under all of it, completely mesmerized , feeling completely insignificant yet strangely, serene.

It seemed to me that the need to be seen, to be loved , to be heard and appreciated , dissolved away before such magnificence, that nature didn’t care for my ego nor did it reject the notion of such, that it stood by, beautiful in its indifference as it moved oceans and formed mountains and basically stayed awesome, kind of like my perfect version of a friend.

What a trip .

What a time.

What a way to find a lost self.

Young love

How many times have you met someone and didn’t know it because you were busy being the completely self assured version of yourself , a diva, a girl who always said “no” on principle , all at the same time ?

I saw an eight year old boy totally swept off his feet by a 2 year old little girl today and these were my humbling thoughts.

I flashbacked to all the boys of my younger days, the boy next door types, the poets, the nerds , the ones who wanted to carry my backpack for me who I wouldn’t give the time of day to , because..well, because I was an idiot.

Oh to be young and foolish .

All he wanted to do was to hold her hand and show her some clown fish. He would sweep the hair that covered her eyes off her forehead. He would stand aside and watch her play with his younger , more age appropriate brother with the sadness of someone who knew in his heart of hearts that everything was hopeless.

She is the type of girl who knows who she is. She knows what she likes and who she trusts. Do you want to see the gold fish ? Erm, no. Do you want to see a book about fish ? “Uh, no” she would repeat like someone who knows she is adored but is intimidated by the thought . she walks past him with her head held high.

I get you girlfriend. Oh yes I do. I know where you come from and I can totally relate. But being so old and softened and filled with nostalgia for my own younger days , my heart melts for the little boy.

I hope he is learning to handle heart break. One can never be young enough.

“Women and cats will as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to idea” ? I guess ?

The Park People

The Park

I live near a park. What luck, what bliss ! I thank Darling for his good senses , picking this apartment. The apartment itself is nothing to write home about, I mean it will get us through this time we have to live here but the park. Magic.

I take a walk across the park daily to get to a place where I volunteer. I love the shade of the trees,  I even obsessively collect fallen leaves. The wind through my hair. The sun on my face. It’s nice, you know?  But the people, the people I see every day, the same ones at the same time, that’s what really intrigues me.

There’s a singer. She has a loud , powerful voice that carries itself half way across the park. She has earphones on and a notebook and that makes me think she might be practicing for something. Something big. She some times interrupts herself to say “good morning beautiful ! Bless you!” to me as I pass her by. I think of talking to her, I mean, she thinks I am beautiful. *blush* But I don’t want to intrude. I hope she knows from the way I smile at her that I think her singing is amazing. Perhaps she thinks I am a bit nuts. Oh well.

There is a  guy in a wheelchair and his friend who pushes him around the park. They drink. I am pretty sure they drink. They usually stop their chit chat whenever I pass them by and don’t restart until I am a few feet away. That usually makes me feel utterly self conscious. I wish they would say something. I find them a tad bit scary.

The tai chi guy in the morning who dances around a tree. He flows about in his baggy linen clothes. Usually , like I said, around a tree. It’s pretty fascinating. Why aren’t people this free back home?

There is an old lady with a shopping cart full of old soft toys. She is there at the park every day, and I don’t know what she is doing with the soft toys. I saw some cops give her food and water yesterday. Nice guys.

And my personal favorite. The well dressed lady who reads , sitting upright at a park bench. Her lips are painted dark red, she wears glistening drop earrings, she wears high heels. She keeps a hang bag close to her body. It always looks to me like she is ready to go somewhere . But she is just sitting there, very upright, and totally well dressed,  reading. Is she waiting for someone? A lover perhaps? Do they meet at the park for ten minutes and kiss before they have to go away to their lives?

Well I don’t know. These are some of the people I see every day and because I remember feeling terrified that I might never get used to this place, I love the moments when my brain goes, hey, I’ve seen that guy before ! And then the same brain that just rejoiced goes “Wait, hopefully they don’t see you. Because familiarity isn’t necessarily a good thing. You know what I mean?”

But yes, the place is growing on me. I am not saying I am comfortable but I am ok. The park is beautiful. The people are nice. When it feels like the apartment is closing in on me, I can go lie under a tree. For now. I am ok.

Updated plain tunic DIY

MIL gave me a plain blue top she had no use for , some time back.

It was a dull blue or blue green or something and any hand me down is a good hand me down for me , because then I could practice my volatile skills of crafting and non existent skills of sewing. Booyah.

I kept it for a while without ever wearing it before I decided to add a bit of color and drama by practicing a bit of embroidery on it. And there was a lot of drama because I must have redone the whole thing at least three times.

I like it how it turned out even though my embroidery leaves something to be desired.

Also, I’ve always loved string tops. Something so casual about it that speaks to me..I guess.

Here goes the pictures.

Enjoy !


The Plain Blue.


Working some embroidery.haah.


Checking me self out.


Making some holes and a braided string to go through it


Ze final product.

Up! My Christmas tree !

I meant to do this at the beginning of December but er, things happened and people seen, so it took a while. I also had a failed attempt at making salt dough ornaments and Darling insists to date that whatever ‘salt dough’ is, it’s dodgy.

Those who are in the know , know that I am big on re-using , upcycling and good old making things by myself . I hate buying plastics , did not want to buy ornaments off the shelf, nor do I have space to store a tree !

Since it’s only my father who , wait scratch that, it’s my father’s family who celebrates Christmas and since we’ve been a part of their traditions every year , I’ve always wanted to make my own tree but this is my first.

My heart has been settled on a twig tree adorned with hand made clay ornaments for a long time. and there, now I have it.

I got the twigs from a friend’s wedding , it was in this center piece,  already spray painted in white and gold. When the wedding was over and it was time for the couple to leave, we took apart the center piece to get at the flowers to throw at them, as is the tradition around here, I asked for the twigs to keep and I got them. Yay!

I made the ornaments in clay using cookie cutters .


For some , I used a piece of lace to make textured ornaments.


I then let them air dry before I dipped them in white paint .


Then I painted some of them with gold paint , and hung them on the tree.

Tada !






I take absolute delight in just looking at it.

DIYing is super soul satisfying. :)

DIY hanging plant holder

I received a pretty skirt as a present from a family friend some time back. And with it came a belt which seemed to be made of a bunch of strings braided together with pretty silver beads and plastic flowers in it.

While I loved the skirt, I didn’t fancy the belt so I put it away to make use of it later, which, let’s admit, is what I really love doing. Making use of things that are meant to be thrown away.

I don’t fancy gifting things I don’t care about to other people so the best thing to do as I see it, is to use them some other way that can be useful and pretty.

So here I was with a belt I didn’t know what to do with.

Browsing through pinterest, which is a huge source of inspiration for me, I came across a tutorial for a hanging plant holder and immediately thought of my belt which had a lot of strings on it. Yay for pinterest !

It had all those pretty beads and flowers on it too. Just imagine, I said to myself , just imagine it hanging from our window in the kitchen!

Here’s the original tutorial.


I tied the free ends of my belt together and worked from there . Since the top of my plant holder could not be untangled, not that I wanted to, I used bits of an old pajama string to tie the belt strings together to form the base of the holder.

Here’s the belt.


Here’s when I tied the ends together.


From there a formed a series if knots using an old string following the tutorial above for inspiration.


When I was done, I had this!


Tada! :D

Now I am off to find a pretty plant for my pretty plant holder.