Don’t sweat

It pays to be pessimistic. That way when something goes right, you get to be all ‘ha! that’s nice!!’ . Plan as you usually do, but expect nothing to go according to plan. Hope. And wait.

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

I hate that when you are like this, the happiness you get out of getting something right is not an elation, but a mere smile. But who’s complaining, you are not letting yourself down at least. Because out of all the bummers in the world, the biggest is when you let yourself down. You don’t want that.

Here’s to hoping, but not being too hopeful.

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Of sexual harassment

Indi wrote this post earlier today and I am like , yeah, I haven’t met a woman who has not been harassed on the streets either.

I have been touched, leaned on, whispered vulgar things a million times. I’ve been stalked by strange men. I’ve seen men on the way home in a lone corner of the road trying to get my attention. I’ve been cat called and sneered and jeered at. And every single time, I think, if Icould, I would have punched them squarely in the face. But I’ve never been strong enough to do so. Instead I’ve switched seats and sometimes buses, and have walked faster, and avoided them in general.

Recently a man on bike leaned into my ear and said something vulgar. Have you noticed how ‘let’s f***’ is a few million times worse when said in Sinhala? It makes you want to kill.

This has to stop. And yes, like Indi said, more men should be involved in talking about this problem.

Glad someone is doing something about it.

Read more here : http://www.srilankaunites.blogspot.com/2012/06/campaign-for-prevention-of-harassment.html

“The campaign S.H.O.W You Care will involve boys representing many boys’ schools in Colombo and will run from 25th – 29th June from 1:30pm onwards in all bus routes in Colombo. Three students each will board the buses according to a formulated plan and address the passengers in all three languages: firstly, apologising to all women for any incidents of harassment they may have encountered in the past, handing out leaflets highlighting the legal recourse available to women if they experience such treatment, making a general statement of the right of women to be treated respectfully and the men taking the responsibility to safeguard this right and the negative reflection on them, if they fail”

Kudos.

Don’t stop until you are proud

Pardon my witless display of a title there.

I have commitment issues. I started keeping track of my work out dates, and I have to say it looks a shame ! I work out like thrice a week and I am not happy. Sometimes I jog and walk and stretch, all of this after I dumped my gym coz I was bored. I was bored with Zumba. That was some time back. The only work out I really liked was kick boxing, something I did long time ago, that was able to make me feel good and made me want to commit. And now I can’t find a kickboxing class. I took yoga earlier this year and was disheartened by the perfectionism it offered. It became a chore and an obligation to be perfect and that weighed me down and I lost interest.

I am also impatient. I work out two days and expect a wash board tummy.

After I started dating Darling, my eating habits changed completely and I’ve gained a few more pounds than I was originally supposed to. Well, that’s not true. I can afford to put on a few more but I already feel very heavy ! I don’t mind being big, I want the toned body. I don’t want to be stick thin. I think curves are beautiful. And right now, I just feel all blah.

When I first starting hanging out with Darling, we’d order a pizza, I’d eat a slice, he’d polish off the rest. Now, whatever we order is shared equally. If HE works out a week, he loses so much weight he starts to look too thin . I can only be jealous.

Since of late, I’ve started sticking to walking + jogging . I also watch a lot of youtube videos and feel frustrated and feel as if I can really do this, really really do this. But oh , I don’t know. I also come across posters on Pinterest that says ‘Don’t stop until you are proud’. Blah !

The most annoying thing is if you don’t keep track. You take a day off from working out and then it becomes a freaking habit ! A week goes by without you noticing it.

So apart from keeping track of the days, I have also tried to not think about the results too much and just focus on the process. Pretty difficult huh when you do 100 abs and then don’t see an improvement overnight !

Alright fine, I’ve been told I am impatient but how *do* you commit?

Around here

You are bound to see people getting registered i:e legally married and call it an engagement and actually wait for another 6 months to start living together. After the poru ceremony.

The ‘engagement’ is a huge affair too. It has the legal bit of it, exchanging of the rings, closest friends and relatives, massive lunch AND cake.

Somewhere somehow people also decided to have the poru bit in a posh big hotel and invite half the people in the eworld. And regard that as the event that really counts. it doesn’t matter if a month is lapsed between these two occassions, or three, or an year. The couple is not considered married until the second event. And you thought we were living in the modern times. ha !

Anyone else thinks this is utter stupid?

While I think this is ridiculous, We’ve had to do this too because the legal system is screwing us. Our wedding is going to be held at a place where neither me nor him were born in, or lived in so we can’t get legally married there. We can only do the other bits. We have to do the legal bit earlier to compensate for this and give proper notice of marriage. I am not happy about this, as we as a couple did not want to abide these ridiculous customs, but it has to be done, and I am actually getting to get married at home, so that’s a good thing.

There are other reasons as to why people get registered earlier before the poru ceremony/big party. If the couple is going to live abroad after getting married, they need to apply for visa as a couple and for that they need to be married. So they take a mini legal wedding minus the poru. Some couples has to go through this because their parents don’t have to answer to their relatives about the girl hanging out with a guy all the time. Get them registered, the matter is solved. urgh.

I think it’s high time Sri Lankans gave up these stupidities. I know I come across like a know it all arrogant person when I say things like these, but I just don’t see why people who are actually getting married, don’t do any sort of thinking. We are going through a lot of traditions, and I am trying my level best to understand what they mean and why, and questioning why is a dangerous thing around here, but I want to know, so that I can one day make sense for our children. And teach them the good things and leave out the bad.

Searching for perfection?

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All thanks to the interwebs I found some really pretty ones.. and I had a friend shop for my wedding shoes in Bangkok. I got them yesterday and they are dreamy ! I can’t put them up, I mean I want to, no I don’t want to coz I don’t want to spoil the surprise.

The couple of times I was a bridesmaid, the brides were kind enough to get us bridesmaids tailor made shoes. But I have to say, that was largely pointless. They hurt my feet something terrible and I could never wear them ever again.

My lovely Su has been a bridesmaid 9 times and she claims she was never able to wear any of them again. Tailor making is not something I am going to do. Lot of brides do this because they want to color match, and end up with hideous browns and greens thrown in together, and even though color matching is fantastic , I don’t think it’s any good to make shoes if you are not able to wear them again.

I am going to buy my bridesmaids shoes that they like , in a color that matches, but which they’ll enjoy wearing again and again. I want them to have fun wearing them , not be tortured to death while their toes turn blue.

I don’t have a punch line for this post, just wear something you really like and something comfortable. Something you feel good in. There will be a lot of half bending by the knees to greet elders and other people so you might want to wear something that won’t kill you.

Await post wedding pictures !