Blogging from a hospital room.
My mother is peacefully asleep and it’s a bit too early for me , so I am up in the dark, with only the light from the laptop screen for company, blogging.
Grief is a personal thing.
It’s best not bestowed on other people, but people have been kind to me, enormously kind to me, to our family, during the past two weeks.
My mother has been through hell and back, given her children wings to fly, lived alone, worked all her life, and never for once, thought herself weak or fragile. For all that she has been and been through, when she got sick , I kept thinking, no not her , please not her, knowing all too well, the indifference it makes.
But, the people were amazing. And the universe, it chose to be kind this time.
She’s ok. Or, better worded , it’s not as bad as we thought it would be. And I am thankful.
Where’s that girl who took offense at some slight someone did, some comparison some one made and felt small and insignificant? That girl , who was petty and jealous? Perspective , child. grief gives you perspective. Her voice is getting smaller and smaller in my head.
I can now pick out the black from the white, and prioritize.
I only want to spend time with my mother, who let me go when it was needed, who loves me unconditionally, who , even in her present state wonders if I had a proper meal or if I am not too cold.
I don’t know what the future holds for any of us, and Gods be kind, I am petrified, but for now, I am with her and everyone we love is with us and she’s ok. Everyone is OK.