Curbing my addictions

We’ve had social media blocked off for us for over a week owing to social unrest and the part companies such as Facebook and WhatsApp played in it by being too easy a platform for extremists to organize themselves.

For someone who had been feeling totally nauseous about being so addicted to facebook for a while, this was somewhat heaven sent. I disagree wholeheartedly with the idea that a government takes it upon themselves to censor communication, but took it as a sign that it was time for me to give it up and I make no apologies for it. Every time my brain needed a distraction even the tiniest one, where one thought halts before another starts, because  some times, thinking is painful, or hard or  because reality sucks, I would just absent mindedly scroll, scroll, scroll. My threshold for any discomfort is now actually paper thin. Why must I put up with myself, when I can scroll through the bottomless pit that is social media?

My brain and my fingers are so used to this by now, for the first two days, I would randomly open the app, like, for no reason, every five minutes. When I caught myself doing this for the upteenth time, I ended up uninstalling the apps.  And have been feeling lighter than I did in years. Is this what it is like to start curbing your addictions?

I’ve been reading as per usual, but I feel my brain using more concentration power to do so. We actually plugged in our TV and watched movies, which hasn’t happened in the past five years! Look, I am even blogging!  I  am pretty sure I even sleep better!

When they uplift the ban, will I be tempted to re-install the app, just to see what’s happening? Facebook used to be how I got my news. I do miss it, but  I do not miss the humblebrags, the keyboard warriors, the vacation pictures, the breakfasts, the drama, the drama, the drama. And working myself up on other people’s account.

Man, I hope I make it through. But I am too old, and I need my sanity and this is a good start to start to stay away from the small screens.

 

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